First Post!

Let my first post on this blog be something that may be of help others - the words I share with anyone who tells me they are trying to start a regular meditation practice:

There are three interesting challenges that arise when starting on a path of mindful meditation. The first: you may notice that your body will not want to be disciplined into staying there and keeping still. So its first trick will be to create physical sensations that try to trick you into moving. Very often it will be a pain or itch that you unconsciously move to scratch, or that becomes almost unbearable if you keep still and don’t scratch it. But keep still. Many people are surprised to discover that just when it is becoming absolutely unbearable, it suddenly vanishes without a trace. It is a paper tiger. And they learn something important about physical sensations: they arise, stay for a while (sometimes very strongly), but then they pass away. Even strong physical pain and discomfort. And yet, notice that there is someone untouched who can observe this from a distance. You may discover that you are NOT the same as “your body and its sensations”. But don’t take my word for it! Try it yourself and see how the reality is for you. And if you find it to be true for you, see if you can figure out who/what is this thing that observes but is not touched by physical sensations.

Here’s the second interesting challenge, once you have seen that you are not the same as your physical sensations. Like your body, your mind will also not want to be disciplined into staying there and keeping attention on the simple awareness of what it’s like to sit there and just be. It wants to be distracted and entertained. So, its response will be to lure you into following some thoughts and getting distracted from the present situation of just sitting. Very often it will start spinning stories: either a rehash of something that happened before (how dare she say that to me!), or could have happened (what I should have said!), or might happen in the future (when I see him, here’s what I’m going to say!). If really desperate, your mind will float thoughts designed to trick you to reflexively stand up and stop sitting – such as “did I leave the bathroom faucet running?” – anything to avoid the discipline of staying with the present reality. Many people are therefore pleasantly surprised to discover that, when you catch yourself wandering like this and if you gently bring the attention back to the present sitting, it is possible to simply watch the ongoing flow of these attempts by the mind. You still get caught up sometimes, but then you notice it and return to the present. Just sit watching the flow of thoughts arise, stay a while, and then pass away. By doing this over many sittings, you will learn something very important about thoughts. You may discover that you are not the same as “your mind and its thoughts”. Again, do not simply take anyone’s word for this. Try it and see for yourself what the truth is. Try to discover the detached observer who does not get caught up in the story telling. When you catch your mind wandering, and before you pull it back to the present, wonder “who is it that caught this wandering mind?”. Discovering that you are not your thoughts can be a hugely liberating and joyful experience for many people. Look for yourself, and see the truth. Are you the same as your thoughts? Or are they just something that comes and goes, like body sensations?

And now here’s the third interesting challenge for those who have realized they are not their bodies and are not their thoughts. While meditating you may find that your heart will also not want to sit there and stay present. So, often while sitting, some strong emotions may surface or may be associated with recalled memories or anticipated futures. This is normal and healthy, even if the emotions are very strong: anger, shame, grief, jealousy, fear, anxiety. While sitting, sometimes crying happens, sometimes laughing. This is completely okay, so don’t try to suppress or deny anything. Just try to keep still and present, and watch it unfold. It’s just like watching the river of thoughts flow. Feelings arise, stay for a while, and then pass away. So, you can learn something important about feelings too. You are not the same as “your heart and its emotions”. But for some people this third challenge can be harder to not get wrapped up in, especially if the emotions are very strong. So it may take some greater experience with sitting before you can, for instance, experience real anger welling up yet still remain aware of the impartial observer who watches the anger arise, stay a while, and then inevitably fall away. If this is your case, trust in your experience with the first two challenges. Don’t take my word for it. Look to what you experience for yourself. See if there is something stable in you that does not rise and fall with these emotions, but just sees.

If you continue sitting you may eventually come to discover first-hand the truth that you are not your body sensations, not your thoughts, and not your emotions. Not because someone told you this, but because you’ve lived it and experienced it for yourself. And yet most people are so caught up in sensations, thoughts, and feelings that they cannot clearly and astutely see the real conditions of their lives and situations and therefore they cannot act wisely to help themselves and to help others. For them, everything is mediated and filtered by “my ideas”, “my body”, “my memories”, “my plans/fears for the future”, and “my feelings” – in short, “myself”. But if you find through sitting that all of these things are ultimately empty, and yet that there is something that stands apart from them and that does not arise/pass away, then you will no longer have need of a “self” to protect and build up. You’ll be completely free to experience life unmediated by conceptual ideas, to be totally in the present moment, and to be completely free to act to reduce suffering for yourself and for others. Life becomes wonderfully light and easy, even when pain and sadness come (which they still do). It is totally worth the effort to learn to wake up. But be careful not to strive for this or become anxious to make “progress” towards this. And as you progress, don’t start thinking you Know Something and start forming ego and opinions about stuff. Such thoughts are just more thoughts, just another trick of the mind (this is why those of us on this path are generally reluctant to tell others much about our own journeys). So, just let it all go. Put it all down. Let it be. Just sit. Just be present, pay attention and notice what really happens. It’s easy! So easy, we end up making it hard by over-thinking it. Just let it be easy. Just keep sitting and paying attention to how you operate. You are bound to succeed!